crane

indeed you cant dictate people nor change them to be a better person, nor i can be dictated nor be changed by others. our personality is innate, and only us can change ourselves if we really want to. but a fact that is, we are who we are. and as we grow old, it is more difficult to change, even for the better!

i know i have my temper and a nasty character, that is if triggered by others. i never realized how nasty i can be until last month when a person triggered the beast in me. i was real nasty then and i never liked it. i became so furious and been fuming for a time that thinking about what that person has done could snap all my enthusiasm and made me sulk alone. as nasty as i lost track of what i was doing and i ended up leaving my other friends without bidding goodbye. i was so destructed and disturbed of how some people, whom i personally considered as tamed, intelligent, educated and coming from a family of good breeding could be such an ass at times. i mean, why in the world could these people, if be at fault, would tell others the opposite of the story instead of ccepting their faults and apologize? why would others count the favors uv asked from them and even the favors u didnt peronally asked infact u just meddled and slap it write in your face? are these the kind of persons whom we can call friends?

if i am to say but not to brag, i have helped and extended favors t my friends noting that i have so much friends than this particular person who just made "kwenta" on me. whew! people-sometimes, they ra out from their sanity and level f intellect and would just bark without thinking.

arrogance- i suoppose that is the best adjective that i can think of.

but then, me as i am. as simple apology could easily ease me down. even a defensive apology- an apology that was asked but still blaming me for what has transpired even if it was at their expense- is sufficient enough for me to forgive and forget. i may have forgiven this person, yet with all honesty, it took me a while to forget because i was traumatized when this person made "kwenta" on me. but then i came to realize the worth of friendship. little by little, in my own little way, i tried to forget that one disturbing event, and i have let go and accpted the person back as a real good friend. but then fate can sumtimes be playfull too! other people became involved! people who was once dear to you but seemed to have lost th value of ur friendship that was already tested by time. people, who, in such a way, didnt bother to listen to ur side and just ended up listenning to what others has shared.

i felt bad, and i think i have the right to feel bad with this scenario! i am havng trouble comprehending wether am i developing an attitude problem after that one mind-tormenting event when a good friend made "kwenta" on me or was it just simply fate playing hard on me?

till now, this so called friend has never talked to me. sadly, i could never initiate a resolution if i am the one being thrown on the pit. but i could do otherwise if i am the one at fault.

the value of friendship- in this context was somehow lost and discarded!

i personally dont know where this would lead me too. but perhaps, i, as i simply am, a simple gesture of humility or even just care to resolve this matter from the others concerned would help me brig back and patch up the old friendship that i have with them…

only time can tell…

till then…

This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 21st, 2007 at 9:10 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.